pitch for my first idea

My Original Idea for the Opening Sequence of a Thriller

“Zip” would be the name of it.

It would begin with an establishing shot of a tent in the woods, and a light would be on in the tent so you are able to see a silhouette of the two girls inside the tent. There would be creepy old fashioned music playing and the camera would zoom in on the zip as the music plays. When it gets close to the zip it would cut to inside the tent where the two girls who would be sitting talking and listening to music with headphones. There would be pan shots around the tent to show small things and just generally set the scene. The girls would then look up and see a figure walk past their tent so they would pause their music and zip open the tent in order to look outside, as she zips open the tent, the camera would follow the zip up and then cut to a pan of outside the tent where they would see no one. They then go back to talking and listening to music and again, think they see someone, look outside, no one there. This then happens a third time but as they see the figure it appears they are walking towards them, so she quickly opens up the zip as the camera follows yet again, and as she looks out the tent the shot is of a close up of one of the girl’s faces so you are able to see their expression change as the other girl rushes inside the tent behind her. The main girl then crawls back into her tent, zips it up and joins her friend in sitting at the back with her knees into her chest, rocking. At this point there is a shot of both their legs and feet rocking back and forth. There is then a shot of the zip at the bottom of the tent as it shakes around a bit, and then begins to slowly open while in the background you can hear the girls panting and making generally terrified noises. As the zip gets to the top of the tent, the camera stays on there as you hear the beginning of a scream, but it is soon cut out as the light turns out and it is pitch black for a few seconds before you hear the noise of the tent being zipped up again and there is then a close up shot of the zip as the light turns back on and the creepy old fashioned music begins to play again and the camera zooms out but this time there is only one silhouette of a person and they are looking around their tent and in the background you can hear them shouting their friends name and panting. The audience are left not knowing which of the girls died, how they died, or where their body went. Zip is an image of safety, shows the fine line between life and death, realism and surrealism.

Main Storyline

Everyone believes the girl left alive was the killer of her friend, but she wasn’t, so while she is being interrogated by the police daily, she is also being haunted by this silhouette we saw in the beginning and sees it everywhere so slowly throughout the movie she becomes more and more insane and ends up succumbing to the ‘silhouette’ and goes back into the woods where her friend disappeared and is killed my the same thing that killed her friend.

This is the sort of silhouette I would be looking for in the opening establishing shot and the ending shot.

The creepy music I was hoping for: